“44 Horrible Dates” by Eddie Campbell, 2012

“44 Horrible Dates” by Eddie Campbell, 2012

Just as the title spells out, this book is about 44 horrible dates. Each story is short enough that even a cat with attention deficit disorder can complete a story before getting the urge to “play the violin”. For those of you who don’t own, nor have ever seen a cat “playing the violin”, it’s when a cat lifts own leg up over its head up in the air while keeping the other leg down, and licks its private parts for hygiene.  Gross, I know, but some men just love their pussy.

Each short story is a chapter and is titled with the date’s name. At the end of the 2 or 4 page long chapter, the horrible date perpetrator is assigned a witty “A.K.A.”. For example, the first story involves a gentleman named Tim who the author fell quickly enamored with. His infatuation fell short lived due to his beaus’ gastric-winded interruptions throughout the date. The date came and gone like a short gust of wind and the author cleverly nicknamed Tim, “inflatulation”.

The general locale of the horrible dates is and around Los Angeles.  Localites would probably relate to the authors general opinions of the bars, clubs, and restaurants he mentions—Oil Can Harry’s, Roosterfish, Gauntlet (now The Eagle), WeHo, etc.

Some have described this book a “hilarious romp of true life”, while others describe it as an “emotional catharsis for anyone who has ever come home from a horrible date”, but just prefer file the book under, “disaster dates and the snarky queen”. And I say “snarky queen,” only because that is the image my brain involuntarily conjures in my pedantic mind when the stories seem to cross the delicate line of witty back-handed bitchy humor to just plain mean queen territory. And yes dear author Eddie, I took the un-pusillanimous route like you and spoke my mind.  Should I “LOL” that? Oh, I just did. Dastardly!

While I enjoyed this book, as far as I can remember—what can I say, I was vacationing in Palms Springs, sprawled out in the sun whilst some scantily clad boy poured my libations heavy.  I wouldn’t recommend reading it in its entirety in one sitting. It’s a coffee table book, or a beach book. Better yet, a pool book in Palm Springs while the drinks are poured heavily. –Excuse me, I digress.  Read a chapter or two and get a laugh, and when you are done with the entire book, pass it forward to someone who will do the same.

My rating: ★★★★☆ (4 out of 5 stars) - I really liked it.

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Author: Eddie Campbell