Review: "Milkman" written by Anna Burns, 2018

Milkman by Anna Burns
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

All the lengthiness of Jane Austen, but without any persuasion (or Mr. Darcy)...

"Milkman" written by Anna Burns, 2018

Controversial winner of 2018's Booker Prize, Anna Burn's Milkman is lengthy, tedious, and almost impenetrable. Most characters remain nameless to help build a sense of anonymity that the theme centers around--  the narrator's desire to stay uninteresting because being interesting is dangerous in the town and times the novel takes place (Belfast, Northern Ireland, 1970s)

The story is narrated from the first-person perspective of Middle-Sister. Middle-Sister is Milkman's main character and is eighteen (18) years old. Middle-Sister's troubles begin when a paramilitary figure called the Milkman (he's not really a milkman) starts offering her rides home. She says no, but he begins trailing her, insinuating himself, making oblique threats. As things escalate, she is followed, spied upon (by Milkman and neighbors alike), photographed, misconstrued, and cornered. 

Middle-sister's perspective makes the Milkman's "encroachment" seem terrifying, implacable, but frustratingly foggy. Yet I'm not convinced what the author would have me believe, as I suspect most of what happens is "all in her head." Or at the very least, through her "mental distortion filters." She needs to get a life.

Most readers either love it or hate it, and I fall mainly on the "hate it" camp and will file this book under #HateRead (as opposed to #DidNotFinish). I liked enough things that I was able to endure the musings and tangential locutions. And yes, I was rooting for Tablets-Girl to successfully poison her and Maybe-Boyfriend so the story would end sooner.

I rate this book 1 out of 5 stars.  

View all my reviews

CH FIRST NAME LAST NAME DESCRIPTION 1 Somebody McSomebody Middle Sister's stalker.   First Brother-in-Law Eldest Sister's husband. Started rumor of Middle Sister & Milkman's relationship.   Milkman   A high ranking paramilitary. 41-year-old married man who harassed Middle Sister.   Eldest Sister Middle Sister's sister. First Brother-in-Law's wife.   Barbra Streisland An American singer-songwriter.   Freddie Mercury Lead vocalist of The Queen Band.   Sigourney Weaver An American actress. 2 Third Brother-in-Law Third Sister's husband. A sporty guy and Middle Sister's childhood friend.   Third Sister Middle Sister's sister. Third Brother-in-Law's wife.   Maybe Boyfriend Middle Sister's secret boyfriend. A car mechanic.   Marilyn Monroe An American actress.   Chef   Maybe-Boyfriend's longest friend.   Maybe-BF's Neighbor Maybe-Boyfriend's troublesome neighbor.   Wee Sister Middle Sister's youngest sister.   The Eldest Maybe-Boyfriend's eldest brother.   Second Youngest Maybe-Boyfriend's second youngest brother.   Oldest Brother Middle Sister's oldest brother.   The Neighbors Middle Sister's gossip neighbor.   Jason   One of Ma's pious friend. The guardian of the banned names.   Da   Middle Sister's father. Deceased.   Lassie   Middle Sister's dog.   Second Sister Middle Sister's sister.   Ivor   A guy from "over-the-road". Maybe-Boyfriend's co-worker.   First Sister's ex   First Sister's murdered ex-boyfriend.   Oliver Cromwell An English political leader in England.   Elizabeth I   The Queen of England and Ireland.   Virginia Mayo An American actress.   Kim Novak An American film actress.   Second Oldest Male Somebody McSomebody's brother - died crossing the road.   Beyond-the- Pale Ma's close friend. Man who didn't love Somebody. Aka: The Real Milkman.   Nuclear Boy Somebody McSomebody's brother.   Nuclear Boy's ma. Somebody McSomebody's mother.   Tablets-Girl   A local poisoner.   Wee Tot Somebody McSomebody's youngest sibling.   First Housewife Middle Sister's colleague in sub-branch women.   Millicent Fawcett A British writer.   Emily Davison A suffragette who fought for vote for women in Britain.   Ida Bell Wells An American journalist.   Florence Nightingale The founder of modern nursing.   Eleanor Roosevelt Former first lady of the U.S. A diplomat and activist.   Harriet Tubman An American abolitionist.   Marianna Pineda A Spanish liberalist heroine.   Marie Curie The girl who discovered Radium.   Lucy Stone A prominent U.S. orator.   Dolly Parton An American singer.   Mata Hari A Dutch exotic dancer.   Nigel   The guardian of the banned names. 4 Longest Friend Middle Sister's longest friend.   Teresa of Avila A Roman Catholic Saint.   Sister Mary Pius The Big Nun.   Francis Bacon A former Lord Chancellor of England.   William Shakespeare An English poet.   Guy Fawkes A member of the group of provincial catholic english.   The Groom Longest Friend's husband. 5 Peggy   Real Milkman's ex-lover.   Tablets-Girl's Sister Sister of Tablets-Girl. Ex-boy Lover's ex-girlfriend.   Brother   Tablets-Girl sister's twin brother.   Ex-Boy Lover Ex-Boyfriend of Tablets-Girl's sister.   Second Brother Middle Sister's brother who joined the renouncers. Deceased.   Fourth Brother Middle Sister's fourth brother.   First Brother Middle Sister's eldest brother.   Third Brother Middle Sister's brother who in love with Tablets-Girl's sister. 7 Mr. Postman A librarian.