“44 Horrible Dates” by Eddie Campbell, 2012

“44 Horrible Dates” by Eddie Campbell, 2012

Just as the title spells out, this book is about 44 horrible dates. Each story is short enough that even a cat with attention deficit disorder can complete a story before getting the urge to “play the violin”. For those of you who don’t own, nor have ever seen a cat “playing the violin”, it’s when a cat lifts own leg up over its head up in the air while keeping the other leg down, and licks its private parts for hygiene.  Gross, I know, but some men just love their pussy.

Each short story is a chapter and is titled with the date’s name. At the end of the 2 or 4 page long chapter, the horrible date perpetrator is assigned a witty “A.K.A.”. For example, the first story involves a gentleman named Tim who the author fell quickly enamored with. His infatuation fell short lived due to his beaus’ gastric-winded interruptions throughout the date. The date came and gone like a short gust of wind and the author cleverly nicknamed Tim, “inflatulation”.

The general locale of the horrible dates is and around Los Angeles.  Localites would probably relate to the authors general opinions of the bars, clubs, and restaurants he mentions—Oil Can Harry’s, Roosterfish, Gauntlet (now The Eagle), WeHo, etc.

Some have described this book a “hilarious romp of true life”, while others describe it as an “emotional catharsis for anyone who has ever come home from a horrible date”, but just prefer file the book under, “disaster dates and the snarky queen”. And I say “snarky queen,” only because that is the image my brain involuntarily conjures in my pedantic mind when the stories seem to cross the delicate line of witty back-handed bitchy humor to just plain mean queen territory. And yes dear author Eddie, I took the un-pusillanimous route like you and spoke my mind.  Should I “LOL” that? Oh, I just did. Dastardly!

While I enjoyed this book, as far as I can remember—what can I say, I was vacationing in Palms Springs, sprawled out in the sun whilst some scantily clad boy poured my libations heavy.  I wouldn’t recommend reading it in its entirety in one sitting. It’s a coffee table book, or a beach book. Better yet, a pool book in Palm Springs while the drinks are poured heavily. –Excuse me, I digress.  Read a chapter or two and get a laugh, and when you are done with the entire book, pass it forward to someone who will do the same.

My rating: ★★★★☆ (4 out of 5 stars) - I really liked it.

Various Media/Art from the internet:

Author: Eddie Campbell

“I, Robot” by Isaac Asimov,1950

“I, Robot” by Isaac Asimov,1950

“I, Robot” is a collection of nine (9) stories loosely threaded together throughout the life of one scientist, a “Robopsychologist” named Susan Calvin under the employ of U.S. Robots and Mechanical Men, Inc. The story is delivered through the narration of a reporter, as told by Susan Calvin in the 21st century.

This novel also shares the name of a movie released in the year 2004, starring Will Smith, called “I, Robot”. The movie was inspired and borrows from “Little Lost Robot”, some of Asimov’s character’s names, and the “Three Laws of Robotics.” The similarities end there and the movie, for the most part, is original from the book.

Each story involves a witty premise in which the “Three Laws of Robotics” are stretched to a breaking point and causes aberrant behavior in the robot, leaving the protagonist(s) in search of logical explanations to solve the problem.

The individual stories share themes of morality, and examine the interactions and relationship between humans and machines from the time when robots were relatively crude mute household appliances to when they grow into lifelike androids indiscernible from humans. Combined, the series of vignettes tell a larger story of Asimov’s history of robotics.

The short stories are:

“Robbie”- A touching story about a little girl’s attachment to her mute, appliancelike robot, is simply splendid and my favorite.

“Runaround” – We meet a pair of field testers of new robot model, Donovan and Powell, who are almost stranded on Mercury when a new robot model has trouble reconciling the Second and Third Laws. The robot is described as seeming to behave intoxicatedly, and with that, sets a farcical tone to the story.

“Reason” – A robot becomes fanatically religious and refuses to believe that weak and frail humans are its creator.

“Catch that Rabbit” – Donovan and Powell troubleshoot a “multiple-robot”, a set of mechanical workers with one master robot controlling six subordinate parts.

“Liar” – A robot factory accidentally creates a mind-reading robot and Susan Calvin tries to determine how this happened. The story also explores what happens when what people say and think (mean) are not the same things.

“Little Lost Robot” – A potentially dangerous military robot whose First Law has been slightly altered is hiding among a shipment of physically identical robots. Susan Calvin tries to determine which robot is the dangerous one.

“Escape” – A mischievous robot send Donovan and Powell unwillingly on an intergalactic test flight. Susan Calvin must convince the jovially mischievous robot into returning them home.

“Evidence” - A short story positing the existence of difference between robots and politicians contains neat twist in the end and ranks in as my second favorite.

“The Evitable Conflict” – Delivered as a conversation between humans analysts, consider the consequences of turning over control of the global economy to the Machines, was for me, dull and uninteresting.

Here, are Asimov’s lasting and famous “Three Laws of Robotics” introduced in this book:

1. A robot may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.

2. A robot must obey any orders given to it by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.

3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

My rating: ★★★★☆ (4 out of 5 stars) - I really liked it.

Related art from various sources on the internet:

“Amped” by Daniel H. Wilson, 2012

“Amped” by Daniel H. Wilson, 2012

In a future reality, the government is implanting technology, in the form of a tiny device into brains of people to correct defects and disabilities, or increase intelligence, or control other augmentations to the body.

However, after some decades, a Supreme Court decision declares "amplified humans", or ”amps”, to be an unprotected class, Owen Gray learns his implant to control his epilepsy makes him not just a second class citizen, but a criminal and a fugitive. And moments before the lab explosion that kills his father, Owen Gray learns that his implanted amp is more than an antiepilepsy device and in fear, flees for his life.

Owen heads for an amp haven in Oklahoma called Eden and meets an ex-military soldier implanted with a zenith-class amp, called Lyle Crosby. The zenith-class amp, was government classified and was bestowed to a select few, turned soldiers into supersoldiers and was secretly given to Owen by his government scientist father.

With the help of the unpredictable and violent Lyle, Owen slowly unlocks the powers of his supercharged zenith-class amp and struggles through acceptance of the possibility of becoming prone to violence.

“Amped” is an action adventure speeding across the landscape of a paranoid society that needed to stop for gas halfway through the novel. The novel had a strong start that left questions that drew me in immediately, a somewhat sputtering middle with thought provoking concepts and intriguing ideas that eventually gain momentum, and a high-impact explosive action ending.

The novel falls on its face a bit, for me, on its social commentary of the world the author painted in this novel. For the hero to be an underdog, the author had to create a society that hated and persecuted amps. Membership into this society means either extreme hatred for amps or be an amp. I just couldn’t buy into it. Where is the gray in this society? Perhaps the author intended Owen Gray to be the representative as suggested by his namesake.

Thoughtful and well-written, like the author’s previous novel Robopocalypse, the tense interplay between humans and machines is provocative and intriguing. The action sequences delivered through its conjured situations that explore boundaries between humankind and its technological creations made up for the, in my view, weak character development and thin plotting.

My rating: ★★★☆☆ (3 out of 5 stars) - I liked it.

Fan Art from various sources on the internet: